A Cry for Help:

If I have to eat at The Pit one more time I'm going to vomit.

My friend asked me what I had for lunch and I said discomfort-

DAMN YOU ARAMARK

Your food knocks me out

I eat and pass out meaning, sleep to recover

I need 5 hours at least before I feel I can walk...

And don't get me started on Panda Express,

I've never eaten rice still rock hard in the middle -

I thought this was Chinese food,

Rice is the staple, I would know -

SUSHI, seriously?!

I wouldn't touch Pit sushi with a ten-foot pole,

Try doing fries right first and then we'll talk sushi.

My only two options are salad or fat

And let's be honest; salad isn't food,

It's not an option.

So. . . it's decided then: fat for lunch

Do I want grease disguised as burger or pizza?

I just want lunch, not a coma.

Is this food seasoned with cinder blocks?

For the love of god, if death is the goal

Let's melt pads of butter, inject it directly into my bloodstream with a lunch gun

So I can get straight to my cardiac arrest nap

Without shoveling this garbage into my mouth.

All that being said, these tacos are pretty good.